Boston Med producer Terry Wrong and crew members at LA launch of The Match

Boston Med producer Terry Wrong and crew members Carl and Craig at LA launch of The Match: Complete Strangers with Tenaya Wallace of Donate Life Hollywood. Susan Whitman Helfgot was on hand signing copies of her new book which chronicles her husband's gift of a face in a historic transplant captured by ABC's Wrong last year while filming in Boston. The successful fundraiser will cover the costs of 8 documentary projects to be entered in next year's Donate Life Hollywood Film Festival.

Susan Whitman-Helfgot
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I'll Bring A Side Dish...

The Thanksgiving turkey sits in another oven, our family somewhat relieved having migrated to the smells and laughter of a different home. Better to sit and watch another husband still living carve the white and dark rather than to have our table’s head occupied by a replacement.

I pondered whether to bring along the silver gravy ladle that had belonged to my great-grandmother. At first thought it seemed having the dented thing with me might sooth the continuing sensation that everything has been destroyed. I tell myself that I finally decided to leave it in the drawer so it would not be lost in the holiday frenzy. In truth, it is because I am too raw to share, too angry to have warm memories occupy another woman’s kitchen.

The four children and I will go to my husband's grave tomorrow. We will pull the soft veil from the stone and stand together. I pray the dank earth will take pity upon me, releasing my grief. I am desperately waiting.

Susan Whitman-Helfgot
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UNOS Wall of Names Sun and Tears

On November 12, 2010 I visited UNOS - the national office of the United Network for Organ Sharing in Richmond. After signing copies of "The Match", its executive director Walter Graham gave me a tour of the award winning building. I watched spellbound as organ placement specialists juggled their 3 to 10 cases a day - a kidney running late from the west coast, a heart just clamped with 5 hours to make it by jet to a major medical center. Rows of clocks with various time zones from Maine to Hawaii line the walls of the nerve center.

We left the building into the warm autumn sun that reminded me why I love the South. I touched the stone etched with my husband's name - Joseph at the Wall of Names in the Memorial Garden. A small line of water ran down from the brick, left from the morning sprinklers. It seemed to be a tear.

Warmly,

Susan Whitman-Helfgot
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Jumping with Abandon

My boys and I just returned from Purity Spring Resort, a tiny bit of heaven in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. We found this spot twenty years ago and we return every year, a modern day pilgrimage. No matter how difficult or complicated, we always return. Always. A lake so clear, it is called Purity. We paddle canoes and watch beavers slide under kayaks for all too brief a time, hug and kiss friends we see only once a year while in this healing place, and then scatter, with the hope we will all make it through another year to do it all again. This year, two good men will never return. We celebrate them with joy for this perfect place.

Here is my friend Jane, a child at heart, jumping with abandon. If you don't have a lake, find one. Make it your own.

Susan Whitman-Helfgot

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The Match – AOPO Excerpts Part 4

Excerpt from prepared remarks by Susan Whitman Helfgot at the 2010 National Association of Organ Procurement Organizations recently held in Baltimore, Maryland.

... From a purely medical perspective, we know that the gift of facial tissue upon transplant ceases to be part of the donor and becomes the servant of a new master, directed by the brain which orchestrates its movements, imbuing it with new expressions, a new joie de vivre. Virtually no trace of the donor is left. But to a grieving widow, or to a mother or father, it is almost impossible to explain. So, why then, do donor families step forward and say yes? ....

AOPO's Mission

AOPO represents and serves Organ Procurement Organizations through advocacy, support, and development of activities that will maximize the availability of organs and tissues and enhance the quality, effectiveness, and integrity of the donation process.

As of July 30, 2010, 107,913 people are on the waiting list to receive the Gift of Life.

By: Susan Whitman Helfgot, Author of The Match available in bookstores & online October 12

Susan Whitman-Helfgot
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Hospitals and Having the Conversation about Organ Donation

A young mother wrote me a note. She lost her one month old baby and is sad because no one asked her if her little son could be an organ donor.

This was my reply:

"I know very well how much healing comes with the knowledge that a part of your loved one can continue helping another life to go on. I have never lost a child so it is impossible for me to know the depth of your grief, but I am deeply saddened for you and wish you strength during what is still a very difficult time in your life.

A few comments might help you, though. First, doctors and nurses are not directly involved in conversations about organ donation. This is left to family counselors who are employees of organ banks around the country. Sometimes, due to distance, other ongoing cases in other hospitals and simply a lack of staff, these conversations just never happen as there is no one available to speak to a family.

Sometimes, hospitals do not have the resources to help with organ recovery. Not every hospital participates in organ recovery; this is particularly the case with small hospitals who do not have appropriate staff or resources.

It is also possible that your child's medical condition made it improbable or impossible for him to be a viable organ donor and, rather than start a discussion and "get your hopes up", it was determined not to broach the subject with you and he was disqualified at the outset.

But your letter raises a very important point. So little is known by the general public about the process of organ donation. Not only is it important for us to sign up as organ donors, it is imperative that we communicate this to our primary care physicians and to our families that we have done so. Then, they may advocate strongly for us if the situation ever arises. Their first call should be to the local organ bank, even before calling the rest of the family. Although the hospital should help facilitate this, sometimes they are unable to help. There is no advocate like a family advocate."

Susan Whitman-Helfgot
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Donate Life

The Match author Susan Whitman Helfgot – AOPO Excerpts Part 3

Excerpt from prepared remarks by Susan Whitman Helfgot at the 2010 National Association of Organ Procurement Organizations recently held in Baltimore, Maryland.

... When our ancestors were on the hunt, a quick glance between two humans often spelled the difference between survival and starvation. Our face is the most intimate and precious part of our body; it is the purveyor of the very air we breathe and the nutrients we ingest to survive. And, every face tells a running story to others every moment of every day beyond anything that can ever be achieved with mere words. It follows, then, that donating a loved one’s face is different and will always remain so.

AOPO's Mission

AOPO represents and serves Organ Procurement Organizations through advocacy, support, and development of activities that will maximize the availability of organs and tissues and enhance the quality, effectiveness, and integrity of the donation process.

As of July 30, 2010, 107,913 people are on the waiting list to receive the Gift of Life.

By: Susan Whitman Helfgot, Author of The Match available in bookstores & online October 12

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Modern Miracles & Making Fast Friends

I traveled back from Los Angeles last night with my boys. A flight attendant named Jennie recognized me from Boston Med. We talked and became fast friends. Face transplants are a wonder of modern medicine. My experience with Jennie is a modern miracle of another kind. From a cable channel in San Francisco, she watched a show. A week later, at 35,000 feet and 1500 miles away, somewhere over the Mississippi River, she met me on a plane. We are now fast friends. What a world we live in. Rejoice every day.

Susan Whitman Helfgot